your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
