I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
