Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize