Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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