Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
