1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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