Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
