you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
