i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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