ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
