i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize