some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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