i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
