How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He better not be in your backpack
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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