OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize