you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
