Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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