You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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