3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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