tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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