Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
