How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sext me about skeletons
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
