His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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