i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize