What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
