I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
