I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
