she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
