when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
