The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
