3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
