Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize
