This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
