I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
time to smoke my breakfast
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
