Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
