haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
