i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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