i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
