honey bunches of taint.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
