I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
