Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize