Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
