we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
