They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I would fuck him just for his dog
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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