What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize