I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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