There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
