i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He shit in the fireplace
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