When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
