drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
porn star boner night. come get it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
