just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
