Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
