i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
