I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
