where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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