my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize