Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
